So we have all probably heard this cliché of “focus on yourself first, it’s the most important relationship in your life” etc, and knowing it logically is a big step, however a small step in the totallity of the understanding. That’s what I am starting to realize as I have been asking myself the question “What do I do right now that would be the best action I can do for myself?”.
It can be as small as listening to my body and realizing “oh shit I should move my right foot it’s not feeling good where it’s sitting in this position” to bigger topics like should I plan the travel destination from where I want to go or the wishes of the others in the group?
I remember I was so scared of getting in this crowd pleasing mood at Cirque de Demain so I actually did reverse crowd pleasing where I chose to do a different trick than I wanted because I was thinking if I do the one I originally wanted people will think that I am crowd pleasing. So I made some stubborn choices where I wasn’t really pleasing myself or the crowd which now makes me smile and shake my head, ah, the silliness we humans go through making our lives so complicated by overthinking.
I keep falling back to Rick Rubins internal compass going
“you have two choices which one do you prefer?”
and that’s really what life is about as I see it. I am just so used to tackling complicated logical problems through stretching my mind to analyze every single option and then making a decision after stepping out and thinking for a while. That’s really smart when playing chess or solving academical papers, but in most every day scenarios or social setting it’s really a burden more than a tool.
So I keep fighting to ask myself
“How does my self-love look like right now? What am I doing right now to honor myself, my body, my spirit? Do I juggle, swim in cold water or simply lay down on the mat in my room and completely relax for a moment? Whatever I feel like doing and that I chose for myself. It is okay.”
Thank you for reading this Sunday’s ID 🧡 If you know someone you think would benefit from reading this please share the letter with them. But only if it feels right.
Love,
J ☀️