Last weekend I visited the circus village outside of Oslo, it was great! I saw a couple of shows from Circanario, one of them ‘La Sagrada Familia’ I might step in for the juggler this fall and bring my orbs. Would be really cool! I love this show so fingers crossed for a couple of weeks on the Canary islands. After this I went to the market for stage arts which was quite overwhelming, but in a good way. I saw 14 shows in three days and had seminars in between. I met some incredibly nice people and artists, super thankful for opportunities like these.
Indecisiveness
I visited some friends in a farm and was planning to stay for two nights. After the first night I woke up and my nervous system got triggered by a few different things, one of them was an approaching deadline and I thought to myself ‘I want to go home’. And so I got in the car, forgot half of my stuff, didn’t eat breakfast or drink coffee before a 6 hour drive and started driving. I stopped on top of a mountain after one hour in the car and got a cold bath where I kind of woke up and everything was clear. “I just have to go back, I’m supposed to go home tomorrow”. So I drove like 30 minutes and then I started freaking out again, turned around to drive home now 5 hours 30 minutes away, drove for about one minute until I stopped the car telling myself “Julian, how long is it going to be until you turn around again?”. It was kind of ridiculous at this point.
I was dead tired when I arrived at my friend’s farm, this indecisiveness going back and forth between choices has been an energy drain this summer. I have had several jobs or plans where I initially said yes, then cancelled it, then I told asked to do it again. Before I told them that I couldn’t do it in the end. This has been exhausting and probably confusing for the ones around me. Well at least in the end I managed to stay for the second day and join the mushroom-picking guide, so now I know the difference between the tasty and the deadly mushrooms!
Workflow
Now I’ve been home for a week and focusing all my energy on my foundation. I realized my biggest block for my happiness is not about figuring out what I need to do, it’s about actually doing it. Executing and following through with my tasks when no one but myself is accountable. I’ve been writing about procrastination before and it’s a tough nut to crack for me. I know that if I can just do the things that I’ve written down on my list that I want to do, my life quality will increase by so much. What often ends up happening though, is that I don’t do the things that I’ve told myself I want to do, so essentially I’m just walking around doing a bunch of stuff I don’t really want to do.
Knowing that this is my main challenge really helps, because I know that if I can just do the things I’ve set out to do, I will get happier. So if I notice I’m starting to avoid my tasks, I can tell myself that I will just have to do it and I know that it’s what’s right for me in the long-term. The tasks are on the list for a reason.
Training
I’m aiming to do two training sessions every day, doesn’t have to be long ones but one primarily focused on strength/technique and the other more on creation/show. If I only manage to do one training I’m happy with that as well, it’s a minimum. I have some different shows and projects coming up so it really requires me to be disciplined with my time. And it feels so good at the end of the day, knowing that I’ve put in the hours. I contacted a kindergarten and will hopefully do two viewings of my new show before performing it in Latvia. It’s very exciting! And as it is so fresh it is nice to see how much it progresses for each runthrough. Looking forward to where it’s going as it’s continuously evolving and improving. As the show would be a living organism. How cool is that!
See you next week :-)
FocusedJ 🔥
Nice drop
I like how you may out your indicidiveness as it is, even when driving back and forth in a car.
I know of several tips to tackle indicidiveness:
Write down your tasks/choices on pieces of paper, put them in a jar and pick one. Outsource the decision to something outside you.
Or you can simply flip a coin.
It can also be useful, if you're unsure about saying yes to something, to ask "what am I saying no to if I say yes to this?"
Best,
Ole